Friday, May 29, 2009

Wearing my heart on my sleeve

Sadness. Some people hate it and stay as far away from it as they can get and yet some don't mind it. Of course I don't think anyone likes to feel sad but there's something about reading a sad book or seeing a sad movie that makes me feel something. Certainly not happiness. I just can't explain it. I'm a very empathetic, intuitive and compassionate person. I feel my emotions and the emotions of others deeply. Sometimes to a fault.
The other night "Driving Miss Daisy" was on TV, it's one of my favorites and I always cry at the end. There is something so touching when Hoke visits Daisy in the nursing home at the end and is feeding her. To me it's just so intimate and not in a sexual way but in a loving way. He understood that in her own way she loved him and he loves her.
Isn't this most beautiful picture? She's 84 years old here. Click the photo to read what her husband says about her. I'm a sucker for little kids, old people and dogs.
Sometimes my husband asks me "why do you watch things that you know will make you cry?" I don't really have a reason for him, it's not like I want to be sad. He's asked me that question several times lately because I've found a new blog a few months ago that I read. I don't recall how I stumbled upon it. It's like I find a lot of things on the Internet, I follow links and end up new places. The blog I'm writing about is called The Sporh's Are Multiplying. It's a blog about a family, a mom, dad and little girl named Maddie. I've read back into her archives and have learned about the birth of Maddie. She was premature and had to fight for her life.

Isn't she a ray of sunshine? By reading Heather's words you could see how happy she was to be a mother and how proud she was of Maddie. The joy shined through in her blog. But their precious little daughter passed away suddenly in April. Her blog entries have changed dramatically as you would expect. Her writing is now so poignant and painful. Instead of joy the pain of their loss radiates through my computer and into my heart. I'm sad when I read it yet I can't stop reading it every day. As a mother I feel I need to experience this horrible event with her. I don't know her and can't imagine what her and her husband are going through. Yet by reading it and being touched by it I like to think that maybe I'm helping her. That I feel I'm getting to know Maddie and that's what her mother wants. For her child to be known and have an impact on people even though her life was cut short. Heather did a post this week about how she was at her parents house and was walking around outside. She looked at the sun shining on one of the windows and there was one of Maddie's hand prints. It was like Maddie was saying hello.
I would never wash this window.
Both pictures were taken by Heather Spohr.


tornwordo said...

That's so sad. Not that it's the same thing but when we cleaned all the windows for spring, Sara's favorite still had her snout slobber on it. I refused to wash it.