Missing my Boys

Every year from birth til they left home we would take the boys to Power's Farm Market to go inside the teepees to see the carved pumpkins and then to the pumpkin area to pick one out. Now hubby and I do that alone. It's fun to see the happy faces of the kids, cop a feel in the dark teepee and get a donut inside. This year when we went it was a beautiful fall day. But something was off for me. I just had an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach, I was envious of the families with little ones. It hurt to watch them. I was having a bad case of missing my sons.

Fast forward to this past weekend, at the end of our street is a firehouse and we were driving by it. When I saw it I got hit with the biggest wave of sadness. I started to cry thinking how when Kevin and Cameron were little we would take them there every year for the fire department open house. They'd go in the trucks and talk with the firemen and have so much fun. It hit me like a ton of bricks that they're grown up now and that part of being a mother is gone. I've gone from a participant to a spectator in their lives.

Maybe I was just hormonal. Anyway...

Pumpkins galore. Tall ones, round ones, smooth ones, bumpy ones. Take your pick.
It's dark inside the teepees and they have many carved pumpkins lit up. This year they didn't seem to be carved as good as in the past. Maybe it was me.
Several years ago some asshole burned them down just before the season started.
Pumpkin guts. Cameron happened to come home for a few days and he and his friends went to Power's and got some pumpkins to carve. Funny thing, I'm not very into Halloween. I never really was. I absolutely hate spending any money on costumes or decorations. It seems like more and more people go all out decorating their yards now. It's not for me. I never do anything except put a pumpkin out. I do enjoy answering the door and seeing the kids in their costumes. Our house is the last house on the street and next to us is some woods. We get few trick or treaters, average about 12 and most of them are past and present students of mine. This year for the first time ever I put up some Halloween decorations. I saw these in the store and had to have them even though they cost 20 bucks.

Aren't these the coolest?? These are the upstairs windows. You put these inside against the widow and when you turn on the light in the room the eyes glow. I love them!!!! They also had monster eyes, cats, spiders but I loved the cat eyes. Perhaps this the first step in decorating my whole yard.

Or maybe not.