Wednesday, June 25, 2008


I like the color green. I have green eyes. For some reason I don't have any green clothes. Green reminds me of nature. Four leaf clovers, mold, grass, leaves; all things I used to think of when someone talked about green. Today "green" has taken on a whole new meaning. Everyday you see more and more manufacturers touting their products and services as green. Honestly I'm starting to overdose on it. Everyone is jumping on the green bandwagon to sell more of their stuff. Now don't get me wrong. I'm all for saving the environment. I recycle my cans, glass jars and bottles, plastics and newspapers. I don't litter and I've been known to pick up other peoples litter while walking. But this whole green movement has taken over.
You can buy green dog products, cleaning products, clothes, you can have a green wedding complete with your organic dinner served on dishes washed with biodegradable soap.
You can also have a green funeral. The green funeral got me thinking so I did some research. You can buy a plain pine casket that has no plastics in it or toxic glue.You can be planted in a biodegradable casket with no embalming, cement vaults or laminated casket. Nothing between you and the dirt but a cardboard box. If you still want to end your earthly career in style you can do it in a fair trade bamboo casket with an unbleached cotton lining. As for me, while I don't think I really fear death, I'm not ready to die anytime soon. I don't want a long painful death and most of all I don't want to go in the ground at all. Yes, I know I will be dead but it's cold and damp underground, there are bugs and I just don't want to rot away. Ugh. I can't even bare to bury my dogs ashes. She's resting in my dresser drawer. No, I'm going to be using fossil fuel to heat up the furnace to 1400 - 1800 degrees, then release dioxin, hydrochloric acid, hydrogen chloride and other bad things into the atmosphere. Just make sure I'm really dead. Then I'm going to have my ashes divided into 4 parts. One goes in the St. Lawrence River at Keewaydin State Park, one part goes in the Atlantic Ocean at Coast Guard beach in Truro on Cape Cod and the remaining is split between my two kids so they can enjoy me forever on their mantle. Just kidding boys. I'm not sure how I got from being annoyed at how green is no longer just a color to discussing my swansong but that's how my mind works.


Nobody™ said...

I recycle what I can, and I replace my light bulbs with CFL bulbs where practical. If I could put up a small wind turbine that would generate enough power to make it worthwhile I would seriously consider it. But that's pretty much where I draw the line line on being green.

And when I die I want to be toasted and some of the ashes dumped in Lake Michigan near the Port of Milwaukee.

heather said...

This is awesome that you are even thinking about this. And congrats on making an educated decision!
Excellent post.

Slick said...

Ok, you caught me....

I suck at recycling and being all "green".

I'm thinking about changing my ways though....soon as I finish this 6 pack in aluminum cans.