Sunday, August 05, 2007

Time Marches On

Time. How much of it do we have? Have we used it to our best advantage? How much of it have we wasted?

It seems like yesterday that I was in high school and had the rest of my life ahead of me. Where did that time go?

I married at 24 years old. I was at the begining of my life as I know it now. We bought our home. Went on some nice vacations. We both had good jobs and the money was flowing.

I had my first child at 28 and my second at 32. Life started to pick up speed. As a young mother, I thrived. I was born to be one.You never know how fast time flies until you have children. Everything in your life becomes measured by their growth. First smile, first steps, first words, kindergarten, driver's license, first job, high school graduation, first girlfriend, taking them to college for the first time.

What a wake up call when the day comes that you're no longer the most important person in your children's life. You realize as much as your children have aged, growing into fine young, you have aged as well and so have your parents.

Today we still live in that house we bought when we were first married and money is tighter than it ever was. I always thought the older I got, the more money I would have. I'm disappointed, that's not true these days.

The other day Number Two was watching a movie while I was in the kitchen. Listening to the music, words and phrases they used I went in and asked him, "what movie is this and does it place in 1976?" "Dazed and Confused he answered and yes, it's 1976." He was astounded. "How did you know that?" he asked. "Because I was in high school at that time and some things you never forget." It seemed like that was just yesterday. Mentally I still feel like I'm about 25, physicially, some days like I'm 80.

How much time do I have left and will I have any regrets? I don't know if I will have any regrets but I sure have some things that I would have done or handled differently. I consider them learning experiences. Did I waste any time? I look at it this way, if I enjoyed doing it, then it wasn't time wasted.