Monday, July 17, 2006

A new T-shirt

I'm going to market a shirt that says, "Warning, I am 19 almost 20 and I live with my parents but I sort of wish that I could live on my own because I'm used to doing my own thing while I'm away at college and my mom makes me do things like errands and stuff and go places with them that I don't want to go to."
There comes an age when your child is caught between childhood and adulthood and it's hard for them. What they don't know is that it is harder for their parents. Number one son will be twenty years old in September and a junior in college. He's been living away from home for two years except for the summers. While he may be living away from home, he's not really been "on his own" but in a dorm. A place that is by no means luxurious but someone comes in and cleans the bathroom and he is fed daily. What he can do is come and go as he pleases and have complete control over his freetime schedule. Now he's home for the summer, has a full time job that he has to get up for at 5:30 am 5 days a week and has to put 20 bucks worth of gas in one of the vehicles. His phone rings constantly or I should say vibrate so all of a sudden he's talking. I can't get used to that.We only ask that he let me know if he will be home for dinner and where he's going in our cars. His social life is suffering because of the early hour he has to get up but he knows his limitations. We have two vehicles, a Honda CRV and Ford Explorer and 99% of the time one of those are available for him to drive. It is so strange to me when he gets up and leaves. To his credit he does ask if he can use a car. Sometimes when his friends are over and they all go out he just walks out the door, doesn't say good bye or say where he's going. He is used to not having to do that while he's at school. Not going to fly at home. He has gotten much better at it and so have I. It's hard for a mother to admit that her little boy has grown up into a responsible adult. I am very proud of him. He is motivated most of the time, knows his priorities and works hard. He's finding out what it means to be an adult. His father and I have totally paid for his first 2 years at college, tuition, room and board, books etc. Last year we paid for his bus tickets to come home most of the time. Now we're done with that and have told him in advance that the well is dry. He is going to have to pay for the next 2 years himself. He is finding out just how expensive it is out there. He took a summer course at a local college, paid for it and the books. Ouch he says. Now before he has paid a dime for the coming year he has had to buy 2 sets of scrubs, stethoscope, blood pressure cuff and some other equipment that they told him. Ouch, more money. His name tag had to be purchased and cost 6.00, not to be paid for with a check but a money order. He went to the post office with 6 bucks and, oh no, you have to pay for a money order! Another surprise for him. He is finding out very quickly how much things cost in the real world and how college will nickle and dime you to death. The only thing I can say is, welcome to life, and then give him a few bucks now and then. He is lucky that when he gratuates in 2 years the additional schooling he needs will be paid by his employer. I do feel bad that I can't provide all of this for him but he is learning how to be an adult and on your own with your expenses. You know when you're a kid you never really know how much your parents love you and what they will do for you until you have a child of your own. Then you get it. He gets a good bit of it now but the rest will come. On the other hand, we went to my brother in laws fireman parade on Saturday and number one son got to ride on the truck to keep an eye on his cousins and spray people with a hose. He loved it, had a blast, there was the little kid in him again. I loved it. Number two son missed it because he was at a pool party. More on him another time.