Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Are You Lonely?

My last post about my girlfriend moving got me thinking about a story that was in the news a few weeks ago about how Americans are lonlier than they used to be. Yes I believe that could be true in many cases for several reasons. Many people are so busy with their job or jobs, trying to make ends meet that it doesn't leave any personal time. When they do get some it may be just some much needed peace and quiet to themselves. Maybe they have other commitments like school or raising a family that don't leave time left for additonal people. Sometimes there isn't much freetime left to put into an additional relationship. Any relationship whether it be with a spouse, significant other, child, sibling or friend requires work, an effort that can be rewarding but work nonetheless. Sean and I have several couples that we're friends with and they live right in town but trying to work around everyone's schedules is challenging. We don't see each other as often as we would like but when we do we have a blast. There are different levels of friends also. I have many friends at work, to me they're more than co-workers, everyday we have fun doing something but I rarely see them outside of school. They all have their own lives as do I. My sister is my other best friend but I don't see her as much as I would like. They have two kids 10 and 8 years old so they lead a busy life. In those early years of parenthood your life seems to revolve around your kids. Plus there are things that I wouldn't tell her, not many but some. There are people that have tons of aquaintances but no real friends. I think of Paris Hilton. Does she really have anyone she can depend on, talk to and trust? I doubt it. (Sorry Paris if you're reading this :) ) Then there are people that don't know how to be a friend. In order to be a friend you must be kind, thoughtful, be a good listener and treat them the way you like to be treated. Do I sound like a mother or what? I deal with children all the time at school that don't have the skills to be a friend, they just have no clue about how to do it. There are some people that are very private and don't really care to cultivate friendships, if that's what they like then that's okay too.

Something this article blamed the lack of friends on was the internet. Since the dawn of the internet people don't need to get out and mingle anymore to meet others. It doesn't allow you to be face to face with a person. Many times people are not who they claim to be online. There can be a lot of projection of what they think you want them to be. As for me, what you see is what you get, I really don't know how to be anything but myself. I have made several good friends on the internet that I love talking to, feel that I can trust and have a good time with. They have become important to me, I value their opinions and their friendship, look forward to chatting and yet I've never met them face to face. Sometimes people just want someone to talk with and open up to that won't judge them. For some that's easier than face to face.

What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is this; I'm happy to have such wonderful friends whether they be friends I can see and go out with or friends that I can talk to online. I actually talk with my online friends more often so when I don't hear from them in a few days I get antsy and wonder what's up. So don't leave me hanging, drop me a note!