Thursday, September 10, 2009

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, NOT

For about the last six months I've been struggling with sleep which is something that has always come easy to me. My head used to hit the pillow and in less than 5 minutes tops I'd be out. Not anymore.
Some nights I'm tired but can't get to sleep, other nights I'm wide awake and no amount of force will keep my eyes closed. Many nights I do go to sleep for about 10 -20 minutes or maybe I'm not really asleep at all but in that transition stage. Next thing I know my heart starts to beat slightly faster and it seems like something in my brain says "Open your eyes!" It's like a slightly panicked feeling but not a panic attack at all. I don't know what it is, maybe just a nasty routine I've settled into. Subconsciously have I convinced myself that this will happen so my brain plays along? I blame it (and a lot of other things) on changing hormones.
All I know is that I have to be bright eyed for 30 kindergartners tomorrow so Mr. Sandman please hurry.


Kitten Herder said...

I'm sorry to hear about your suffering. I've dealt with this most of my adult life. The last five years have been particularly bad. Part of the issue is a general proclivity towards insomnia. The other issue is chronic pain. It's hard to get to sleep or to stay asleep when parts of your body cry out in pain.

I hope you break the cycle soon. Sleep loss is a slow simmering hell.