Monday, August 30, 2010

Time Marches On

I have never been a mother that laments that she can't wait for her kids to move out of the house. We've been blessed with great kids. I've never once wished I didn't have them or wanted them out of the house. That being said...
My oldest son has been living on his own in New York City since his graduation from The Decker School of Nursing at Binghamton University two years ago. It's been hard not seeing him often but I've adjusted. What made it easier for me when he went away to college and then to NYC was the fact that I had another son at home. Then he went away to college in 2008 and lived in the dorm. It wasn't too bad because he is only 30 minutes away. He's now entering his junior year and he and his dorm roommate just moved into their own apartment off campus. He's told me that since his last three months of rent have been paid in advance per the complex he might just stay in the apartment next summer and take some classes. That's a good idea, I'm mean the apt. is paid for and nothing wrong with getting a little ahead with your classes. But for some reason this is hitting me hard. I've been very melancholy and on the verge of tears several times, my shoulders are tight and it feels like something is missing in my life. I think I may have figured it out.
For almost the last 24 years there has been a child in this bedroom. First Kevin for 3 1/2 years then Cameron ever since. Now it's empty. No one lives there.
Cam has always been adventurous and wanted to be out in the world around him.
The bedroom has undergone several re decorations over the years and Cam has shared his bed with two dogs. The bed is actually my childhood bed.

Now that room is empty and I look in the door and it seems so strange to me. My children are adults. Kevin is just 17 days short of 24 and Cameron is 20. Time has flown by so quickly and my role of mother has changed indeed. (Boy is it dirty under that bed)

Now Cam is chilling in his own place where his bedroom is larger than the one he spent 20 years in at home. He has a walk in closet, his own attached bathroom and life is good. Today I've decided to get over myself. I'll let you know how that goes.