Motherhood

Most women have a maternal instinct, of course it varies among women and can be quite strong in some and almost nonexistent in others. I understand the urge to be a mother, it wasn't easy for us to become parents. Our children were not conceived the "natural" way. Thank you Dr. Jacobs. It makes me sick when I hear stories about mothers who discard their newborns or hurt their children physically or mentally or allow the men in their lives to hurt them.

I watched 20/20 on ABC last night and the topic for the evening was extreme mothering. It was disturbing to me on various levels. One story featured 2 women who are into reborns. They are very life like dolls that look a newborn baby. Is she real or a doll?

Surprise, it's a reborn!

One woman actually takes them out in public and treats it like a real baby. She gets off on the attention people give her when they coo over her "baby" and is actually disappointed when no one comments on it. These dolls have a wardrobe of real baby clothes, sleep in well appointed nurseries and wear actual diapers that these women change. I could almost sympathize with them if they really thought the baby was real but they KNOW it's a doll.

Another story; women who breastfeed their children beyond what they say society says is acceptable. Two more women, one in the U.S. and one in England breastfeed their children for years. The one mom still feeds her kindergarten son. Debra Roberts, the interviewer asked him how did he ask his mom when he wanted to feed. He responded that he asks her for her "nummies". The parents saw nothing strange about this, she had breastfed his older siblings until they were 6 years old. The other woman had been breastfeeding her various children for the past 11 years. Breastfeeding is a personal decision and I'm not against it but what these mothers are doing well, it just doesn't seem right to me.

Next story; women who have their babies like they did in pioneer days, meaning at home or outside under a tree with out any pharmaceuticals and no medical personal present. I agree that birthing a baby on your back in a bed is hard work. I know I felt better standing or sitting up and I think hospitals have gotten better about deliveries such as water births or birthing chairs. Yes, woman have been giving birth in caves, fields, houses or just about anywhere without medical care since the stone age but in this day and age why would you tempt fate? Maybe I feel this way since my second pregnancy became very high risk midway through and the two of us almost died at delivery but for me there's no shame in being in the hospital or having an epidural.

Next story; women who have babies for others, surrogates. God bless them. We may have considered that option but back then it was almost unheard of for a woman to do that. Again a story of two women who between the two of them have had 20 babies for other couples. One woman used the couples sperm and egg every time but the other used her own eggs. She stated that her family was accepting of this except for her father. He says that she's giving away his grandchildren and I agree. I realize this is the ultimate gift you could give a childless couple but I'm positive I couldn't do it. Even knowing the child is not part of me, I'm for all intents and purposes an incubator, how can you not bond with this baby while pregnant? And to know that it's your child that you're selling because that's what's going on; money is exchanged for the baby.

One final story; women who orgasm during childbirth. How good is that?! I sure wish it happened to me but no such luck.

Check out the 20/20 website and you can watch these stories and let me know what you think.