High Maintenance Part II

Thanks for coming over from SST's. I was asking you about women being emotionally high maintenance...
I have to tell you that I do think that women in general are high maintenance (HM) emotionally. For the most part if a woman tells you she's not, she either lying or in denial. I do believe that as a woman ages she becomes somewhat less HM. She knows what she wants in her life, she is more patient, wiser and confident. Many younger ladies think that they should have their man's complete attention at all times or they think something is wrong or feel abandoned. That's insecurity talking. As a woman matures she is much more secure in who she is and doesn't demand that it be all about her all the time. On the same note, we don't want it to be all about you all the time. Yes, I know that women are hard to figure out but if you take the time and at least try I guarantee it's worth it. There are times when we expect you to be a mind reader and to know instinctively what to do. That's because we seem to be able to do that and we think you should too. Women are more nurturing then men, no surprise there but, now don't laugh, if you get in touch with your feminine side and think like a woman you might be surprised at the results. Here are a few tips.
1. Treat your woman with respect, ask her opinion about things. She has her own ideas and would like to be treated like she has a brain. Don't belittle her thoughts, she's an equal to you.

2. We don't mind a take charge kind of guy but don't make all the decisions. Make her part of the decision process. Don't be the master and commander all the time, consult with her. I'm not saying give into her all the time and let her run the show. That gets old too. We don't want to be in charge all the time.

3. We like to feel important to you, not like your world will end if we aren't with you every second but we like to know that our presence is enjoyed and you're glad we're with you.
We like your attention, we really do. We want to feel like you think we are the best looking lady in the room. If you've just met a woman and want to get to know her, keep your eyes on her. Don't be talking but looking over her shoulder to see what else is out there. In some relationships once you've been together you can check out others. As for me, I don't have a problem with that, go ahead and look but I know who you're going home with. If your girlfriend or wife doesn't like that, don't do it. It will save you a hassle later.

4. Most women like to be treated like a lady. Open doors for them and let them enter first. If in a crowd, reach out and take their hand, make them feel safe. This lets them know you're thinking about them. Don't just plow on through and wonder where she went.

5. Introduce us to people that come up to you that you know but we don't. There is nothing worse than standing there listening to you chat it up, ignoring us.

6. Let's face it, women are more emotional than men. When we have a bad day we may be bitchy. Ask what's wrong, sometimes we want to be left alone but here comes the tricky part. Sometimes we don't mean that! I suggest giving it one more try if she says that. If she still wants to be alone, leave her alone. If you suspect it may be something you did, go ahead and ask her. But, be prepared. That can go two ways, she may let you have it both barrels or may tell you that you should KNOW already. Can't help you much there.

Women love kind and caring men, take the time to try and figure her out. Treat her repectfully, ask her what she thinks about things, make her feel safe and secure. Don't try and make her jealous, treat her like she matters to you. If you at least do some of these things it will be worth the work. Hopefully she will treat you the same way.

Cody

I love dogs. I'm not sure how anyone can't. I'm allergic to cats but wouldn't have one if I could. A dog is loyal. A dog doesn't care how you look. A dog loves you unconditionally. Dogs are very intuitive. They seem to know when you're happy and will be happy right along with you. They know when you're sad and will try and comfort you. When you don't feel good, a dog is right with you, keeping you company in bed. In a bad mood?You can count on your dog to still want to be with you. Get mad at your dog or yell at them and they don't hold a grudge, its forgotten in a few minutes. They protect you and make you feel safe. Hhhhmmmm, I just noticed that they have a lot of qualities that you would love in a man. I think they should be refered to as woman's best friend.
This is our dog Cody. You've seen him before in a previous post where I explained how we came to get him. I've had a dogs in my life since I was 9 years old. Every dog I have seems to be my favorite.





Lucky for him and me, he's not into chewing shoes!



















This was during our last camping trip. We had never taken him before. He absolutly loved it. Notice that happy look on his face.











Cody is a true member of the family and has to be where ever we are. I don't understand why some people have a dog and leave them tied outside all the time. What kind of life is that for a dog? They should be involved with the family. I will draw the line at dogs going everywhere with you though. It's rather ridiculous seeing a dog carried around in stores and even worse on your lap when you're driving. One quick stop and that dog is crushed between you and the steering wheel not to mention if you have to make a defensive driving maneuver, you've got a dog in the way!






Cody is a beautiful dog don't you think?



















He loves his tennis ball. We figure he has some kind of bird dog in his DNA. He has what is called a dry mouth and a soft bite. Bird dogs have a dryer mouth so the bird feathers don't stick and a soft bite so they don't crush the bird when they get it for their hunting master.

Our previous dog was a border collie named Shelby. Now if you played ball with her (and she wanted to constantly) that ball would be soaked in minutes. Border collies are working dogs, they have an inbred instinct to herd animals, mostly sheep and cattle. We got her when the kids were little and she always tried to herd our youngest. She never let him make a move with out being right there at his feet. He had holes in his shirts and sometimes bruises on his arms where she would try and direct him. These dogs herd by giving little nips, never enough to break the skin but enough to let you know who's boss. We were never able to totally break her of that.

Off to School

Tomorrow we take number one son back to college. This is the third year of doing that and it is still so bittersweet for me. I hear many people say they can't wait for their kids to go back to college but I don't feel that way. I like having him home. He is a fun kid, a smart kid, a kid that you can have a conversation with whether it be about politics, current events or just about life. He has always been the serious type, worked hard, disciplined and had high expectations for himself. I keep refering to him as a kid but he's not a kid. He will turn 20 on Sept. 15. The years have just flown by. When he was just a few days old I worried that someday he will go to kindergarten, maybe have to go to war and maybe marry someone that didn't like me and would make him move 3,000 miles away. Sean thought I was crazy but mothers think this way. When he is at home I have a little more control, I know where he is most times and when he comes home late at night he has to wake me to tell me he's home. When he's away I know nothing about what he's doing. I have learned to accept that and maybe not knowing is better. It is hard to see your child grow into an adult, to not be the most important person in their life anymore and to let go. But is also nice to see what a kind and responsible adult they've grown into. He told me yesterday that he doesn't think I'll miss him when he's gone and I was sort of hurt by that. How could he think I wouldn't? I do know that he appreciates us and is greatful for what we have provided for him but I don't think he knows how much we love him. When I was a teenager I loved my parents but gave them a lot of grief. I never thought too much about their love for me. It wasn't until I moved out of the house at age 19 that I started to appreciate them more. I don't think a child understands the depth of a parents love until they have a child of their own. Then they realize how much they love that child and that they would die for that child. It then dawns on them that, wow, my parents must feel the same way about me. That's how it was for me. I tell my children every day that I love them (something I don't remember as a kid). Spend time with your children, get to know them, be as involved in their life as much as you can. It won't be long before they're off to college and on their way to adulthood. I tell them all the time, you're never too old to hug and kiss your mother. If you have the chance to do so, tell your mother you love her, don't wait for her to say those words to you, I guarantee, it will be music to her ears.

Sean and I had a wonderful vacation a few weeks back so we're going to return to our spot for 4 days. This time we won't be alone though. Both sons are coming with us as well as for the first time, our dog Cody. We leave tomorrow. Today is it pouring out. I hope the weather is better up there. Camping in the rain is fun for about 5-6 hours. Especially with a big, wet dog. You're stuck in the camper but play games, read or take a nap listening to the tinkling of the rain. Then it gets old. My sister and her husband and kids will be on the site next to us. We can always swap kids for a while. But in any weather it will be fun. We haven't had both of our kids with us on a camping trip for a few years. Number one son was working and needing the money the past few summers so he stayed home alone. Which I'm sure was a better vacation than being with mom and dad. The last time he went with us he was 16. And miserable. Imagine, having to go on vacation with your parents and leave your friends behind for a week. It is so horrible, all you can do is skulk around, roll your eyes and look like life as you know it is over. (Okay, I was that age once and was the same way, that was the only thing that stopped me from killing him) Fast forward a few years. Now he has two years of college under his belt and 2 summers of working full time. "You have no idea how having to be at work at 6:30 am disrupts your social life." A quote directly from him. I didn't remind him that at one time I got an infant and 4 year old up and ready in the morning, dropped them off at two different daycares and had to be at work by 7:30. Now he is very excited about going on vacation. With working he didn't have much time for himself and being in school he thinks is easier. (his words) Welcome to the real world kid! Number two son has had a friend come with him the past several years. This year his two best friends are out of the country. One in Japan, one in Barbados visiting his grandmother. Poor kid, his friends are globetrotting and he gets stuck going on a camping vacation with his parents. After all it's only right, he is 16!

One of the few things I don't care for about camping.
Below, beautiful work of nature during the day.

At night, hidious, scary, gross home of this creature

A red headed woodpecker in the garden.















This Brown-eyed Susan looks like it's waving.

Traveling

While having a conversation with a friend the question was posed; where is your favorite place you've visited? That was a hard question for me to answer because each trip was different so it would be hard to choose. I've been to Hawaii and loved it. Very beautiful with flowers everywhere. Just driving down the road you would see people's mailboxes covered with climbing orchids. At first the colors were overwhelming. When I got home, it looked so drab comparably. While the only other country I've been to is Canada, visiting 5 provinces, I've visited 13 states in the union. I gave it more thought when I went to bed and decided if someone said you can return to a place you've been to, right now it would be New York City. There is so much history there.We've been twice. I have always wanted to go there but felt somewhat intimidated by it. It's expensive, big, not safe, unfriendly, you know its rep. After 9/11 I knew I had to go there. It took a while but got there for the first time in Dec.04 for our wedding anniversary.


It was wonderful. Yes, it was exspensive and big but I never felt unsafe and found that the natives were very friendly and helpful. It was the other tourists that were rude. We went again in the following spring on a Boy Scout trip and my sister came with me. We had a blast except for one scary bus ride. The Chrysler Building is top left.






If you are a Saturday Night Live watcher you may recognize this
chandelier. While this one is in Grand Central Terminal they have
a replica of one on the set during the opening monolog.
Jackie Kennedy Onasis headed a campaign to restore the terminal
to its former splender and she succeeded. It's beautiful.


Below is Cartier (a jewelry store) dressed up for the holidays.
Notice the tiara over the entrance.

This is the Hershey's candy store in Times Square.



The Staten Island Ferry,
one of several free things in NYC

Below is Rockefeller Center,
down in front of the tree is the skating rink.

The Empire State Building

The Statue of Liberty. She is HUGE!

Time Square. This area has been cleaned up considerably. No more strip joints and adult book stores. There is a Toys R Us store here that has a ferris wheel in it and a full size Wookie made

completely of Legos. Some say that Times Square has been "Disney-fied" I don't know but it is more family friendly. I enjoyed it.

I suppose if you live or work in NYC it looses it's glam pretty fast when you don't see it through a tourist's eye. Of course there are parts that I didn't see, the poor sections and crime riddled areas but what I saw I just loved.

My name is Summer and I'm a...

I thought I'd write about something personal to me. Six months ago I was diagnosed as a diabetic. I hadn't felt great in a while, just wasn't myself. It seemed like I constantly didn't feel well. I finally went to the doctor, had some tests and the results came back Type 2 diabetes. I really didn't have many classic symptoms except I was tired all the time especially after eating. Oh and I had to pee a lot. A lot. I was very upset about it and went into denial. In my mind I thought that I really couldn't have it because I didn't feel like I did.

Then I was really pissed about it, I thought why me? Not that I want anyone to have diabtetes but how come me? I have enough going on with other things. Why is my body betraying me again? Now I have to test my blood all the time, buy all the crap that goes along with that.

Next I was depressed about it. I thought about how this disease will take some years off of my life. It's hard to deal with watching what I eat , having to change the way I eat, giving up everything I love to eat. What kind of life is that? I'm limited to 30 grams of carbs per meal. And if you don't know, that's not much especially if you're a carb eater like yours truly. I am not a sweet person but a salty, crunchy person. I can pass up cookies, ice cream, cake etc. but I do love Mallo Cups. (I have a secret admirer at school who periodically leaves me some in my mailbox. I haven't figured out who it is and who knows I love them.) Some people eat to live and others love to eat. I fall into the second catagory. Life as I knew it was over. I didn't want anyone to know I had it, I was ashamed and thought I brought it on myself. Boy was I feeling sorry for myself.

Well I think I have finally come to terms with it and accepted that I have it. I went to a 9 hour diabetes class and learned how to manage it and take charge of it. There is no history of it in my family but I did have gestational diabetes with my youngest son and that made me predisposed to getting Type 2 later in life. So okay, I do have to stick my finger and check my blood sugar. I do have to watch what I eat but I can still eat what I like, just in moderation. I can have a Mallo Cup, just not 4 at a time. It's not about never having sugar but watching your carbs and eating the right kind of carbs. I thought about what I would rather have other than diabetes. What if I could give up my eye sight or my hearing or sense of smell to not have it. Well I love to see the beauty in the world, my children, husband, flowers, the blue sky, the beach, a goldfinch at the feeder or read a book. But if I couldn't hear I would miss hearing the laughter of a child (my favorite sounds; a baby laughing, a far off whistle from a soccer or football game in the fall, the birds singing, the word mommy) I wouldn't hear the bubbles from a can of soda or when my son comes home at 2 am and whispers, "mom I'm home". If I couldn't smell I would miss the scent of a baby or puppy (they smell sooo good), the smell of rain coming, the damp, salty, fishy smell of the beach, the crispness of a sunny winter day. They say that your sense of smell brings forth the most memories. Once in a small town called Niagara on the Lake in Canada ,Sean and I walked by a very small restuarant and a delicious smell was eminating from it. It smelled exactly like my grandmother's house when she cooked us roast beef for dinner when I was a kid. I stopped right on the sidewalk and hurt with the pain of missing her. I have never smelled that smell since. So would I give any of those up so I wouldn't have diabetes? Nope. Being a diabetic is something that I have accepted, can control and have realized that I could have something worse like leprosy or mad cow.

Today's topic: cyclists, bicyclists specifically. There have been numerous letters to the editor in our local newspaper from cyclists lamenting the fact that vehicle drivers do not share the road with them. On and on they go about how they have every right to be on the road, people are rude to them, drive too close to them, tailgate them, blind them with their highbeams, the list goes on. My take on the whole thing is this; when was the last time you saw a person on a bike obeying the traffic laws just as they are supposed to. They have to follow the same laws that a driver of a car does. This means that they can not go through stop signs or red lights. They have to stop. They must ride with traffic, not against it. They must use hand signals to tell others what move they are planning to do. Don't get me wrong, I have seen some doing those things. But the majority don't. There are plenty of bad drivers out there that you need to be aware of.

Yes, sometimes it seems like we are tailgating you and I'll tell you why. You need to ride as close to the white line on the side of the road as you can. Not in the middle so we can't get around you due to oncoming traffic. Yes you get blinded sometimes with headlights but maybe its because you're on the wrong side of the road, wearing dark clothes and no reflectors or light. Wjen I'm turning right onto a road I don't need to see you come whizzing by me on the right to go through an intersection. Cars cannot pass on the right. Use your heads people. While I am a good driver and never assume I know what a pedestrian or biker will do, I know that there are lots of assholes out there driving that aren't paying attention, talking on the phone, eating, putting on makeup, shaving. Hell, I even saw someone reading a book while driving on the xway! Its just a matter of time before someone hits you. I hope it is not me.

I write about this because once this summer we saw a tragedy and the other night were almost part of one. We came upon an accident with a bike and a car. The vehicle was turning right on to the entrance ramp of the xway and hit a bicylclist. I don't know whose fault it was, we happened upon the aftermath with the twisted, broken bike in the road and police investigating. The car won that collision, the young man, age 21, was killed. The other night on a 4 lane road a kid, maybe 16, riding a bike that was too small for him, no helmet and a frosty from Wendy's in one hand, cut across two lanes and without the quick reflexes of Sean, we would have hit him. After slamming on the breaks we came to a dead stop right behind him. This young man just went on his merry way leaving us with heart palpatations and almost being rear ended in the process. I only hope he learned a lesson that night when his life had to have flashed before his eyes but I don't think he did. A bicylclist will never come out on top with an altercation with a car.

So if you want the respect you feel you should get and to feel safe on the road when riding a bike, please take the time to learn the traffic laws, ride smart and don't play games. Don't assume that we see you, sometimes we don't.

A Fish Story

More from our vacation.

We spent a lot of time fishing last week. I really don't care what I catch, big or little, Bluegill, Sunfish, Perch or even Rock Bass but Sean only likes the big ones. He doesn't like the "squeakers" as he calls them to waste his time. I've been fishing since I was a kid and with three girls our dad was pretty busy putting on worms and taking off fish. When you're the oldest, you wait for everything while the younger ones get taken care of first. Hence I started doing it myself. I won't do it when the fish swallows the hook though and I hate it when the fish ends up being seagull food.

One of the many pan fish I caught, this one was just a baby.
As I said I can bait my own hook and take off my own fish but Sean volunteered to

be to take care of the worm part, after all as he says, he is the master baiter.

This perch I caught while Sean was getting something from the car. It's pretty big as far as perch go. I took a picture of it because he wouldn't believe me if I told him how big it was. :)
We always catch and release.


One night I didn't bring my pole when we went fishing, I was reading a good book but Sean was just bringing up the dreaded squeakers so I took his pole for a while. Low and behold, look what I pulled in; a "just legal" Bass! It even broke water while I was reeling it in. He was so jealous and his mission was to catch one bigger than mine. Did he succeed? No. I must be a better hooker than him. Notice my swollen knee, it has been six weeks since I have walked without limping. I swear for awhile all I needed was a hunchback and I could pass for Quasimoto. It is getting better v e r y s l o w l y.


Here is one of Sean's cutest catches. An infant Perch. Yes Sean, I will tell the nice people that do read this blog that you did catch some bigger fish.

But none bigger than my Bass ;)

I'll leave you with another beautiful sunset.

Reality Bites

We're back from our vacation and had a wonderful time. Sean and I didn't drive each other crazy as I feared and I could have stayed another week. The weather was great, very hot but there was always a breeze coming off the river. As I mentioned before, we went to the 1000 Islands on the St. Lawrence River. Why is it called the 1000 Islands you ask? Or maybe you didn't but I'll tell you anyway. 12,000 years ago at the end of the last ice age these islands were formed. In total there are 1,865 islands. The difference between an island and a shoal is this; to be classified as an island it must be above water 365 days a year and support at least one tree. The St. Lawrence River was discovered on 8/10/1535 by Jacques Cartier. Most of the homes on the islands are summer homes but some brave people live there year round and get to the mainland by snowmobile in the winter. You can attend church services on the water in your boat in Half Moon Bay. What I love about the river is you can see the ships that travel through out the Great Lakes from our campsite. While sailing through the 1000 Islands they must have a river pilot on board to steer through the islands and stay in the channel. Yes, some islands have been bumped into by ships and some have run aground when they strayed from the channel but for the most part they just cruise on through. As many years as I have been going there, I never get tired of see those ships. Here are just a few of the ones we saw.
















































Every day ended with a beautiful sunset.

Going on Vacation

We're leaving for vacation tomorrow. The first time ever without the kids. Just Sean and me. Alone. Together for 24 hours a day. For 6 days. It will be nice but strange. We've been away together for weekend getaways but never away this long without the kids. Will we still like each other by the time this is over? I hope so, I'll let you know.

We're going camping. Summer going camping you wonder. Yes, I've been camping for 40 years, 22 of them with Sean and with kids for the last 15 years. We go to the 1000 Islands region on the St. Lawrence River in NY. This is a special place to both Sean and I. When we were kids unbeknown to us we each spent time there every summer just 20 minutes down the road from each other. We probably saw each other in the ice cream parlor. We will be camping in our tent camper and living outside for most of the time. Now I will admit, I'm pretty prissy about things. I hate insects. I need to have a nice, fluffy, king size bed, my own bathroom, hair dryer etc. but where we camp at a small park on the river it has no electricity on the sites. That means no lights or TV. Electric in the bathroom but that's it. It doesn't seem like me to basically live outside for a week without modern conveniences but I enjoy it. It is a time to relax and recharge. It's very peaceful. We spend our days fishing, reading, swimming and being lazy. At night there are no lights or TV but campfires and bright, twinkling stars. The evening is spent watching for shooting stars and satallites. See you in a week.

Flowers vs Vegetables

These bumblebees was taken by Sean.

My banana peppers















I love my flower garden and never grew vegetables before til this summer. A student gave me some little pepper plants and I couldn't just toss them so I planted them. To me flowers are so pretty, vegetables well, they're just vegetables. I don't eat many vegetables just salad, sweet corn and some tomatoes. Well my peppers are growing and I am suprised at how much I enjoy checking them out everyday to see how much they've grown. When I was a kid, my parents had a huge vegetable garden, we never had a flower garden. One of my chores was to help weed it (ugh) and pick tomatoes. Well one day I surprised by a tomato worm and just about died from the horror of it. (Not really, but it was pretty shocking and gross) I think I made a decision then that I will never grow vegetables. Although there can be some pretty ugly bugs in flower gardens the beauty of the flowers make up for it. Maybe I have changed my mind about vegetables.

The dreaded, hideous tomato worm!

The Tomato hornworm (Manduca quinquemaculata L.) is a green caterpillar, the larval form of the Five-spotted Hawk moth moth of the Sphingidae (Sphinx) family common throughout the American continent.
An insect pest of tomato, it can also attack eggplant, pepper, and potato.

Oh no, I just found out that thing likes peppers too!

Happy Birthday Mick Jagger

Today is Mick Jagger's birthday and it happens to be mine as well. When I was a kid I thought it was cool to share a birthday with a rock and roller and although the birthdate is the same, I'm younger than him. :)


Leo! About Your Sign...
The Leo type is the most dominant, spontaneously creative and extrovert of all the zodiacal characters. In grandeur of manner, splendor of bearing and magnanimity of personality, they are the monarch's among humans as the lion is king of beasts. They are ambitious, courageous, dominant, strong willed, positive, independent, self-confident there is no such a word as doubt in their vocabularies, and they are self-controlled. Born leaders, either in support of, or in revolt against, the status quo. They are at their most effective when in a position of command, their personal magnetism and innate courtesy of mind bringing out the best of loyalty from subordinates. They are uncomplicated, knowing exactly what they want and using all their energies, creativeness and resolution to get it, as well as being certain that they will get whatever they are after. Their followers know where they are with Leonians. Leonians think and act bigger than others would normally dare; the ambitiousness of their schemes and idealism sometimes daunt their followers, their practical hardheadedness and ability to go straight to the heart of any problem reassures those who depend on them. If Leonians meet with setbacks they thrive on the adversity.
On the whole they are powers for good, for they are strongly idealistic, humane, and beneficent. They have powerful intelligence and are of a broad philosophical, sometimes religious, turn of mind. Those who are devout may become very obstinate in upholding traditional beliefs and will cling tenaciously, but with complete sincerity, to practices and doctrines which liberal thinkers regard as absurdly out-of-date. These will be found as the 'lions' of industries, and in the forefront of the cutting edge of technologies.

Their faults can be as large in scale as their virtues, and an excessively negative Leonian can be one of the most unpleasant human beings imaginable, displaying extreme arrogance, autocratic pride, haughtiness, and excessive hastiness of temper. If jealously suspicious of rivals, they will not hesitate to use cunning, lies and trickery to discredit them. Self-centeredness, greed for flattery, boastfulness, and bombast, pomposity, snobbish superiority, and overbearing, and intolerant disdain of underlings; to whom they will nevertheless delegate the carrying out of minor details in their grandiose schemes, and from whom they are not above borrowing immoderately if an occasion necessitates it. Any of these can be characteristic of Leo.
low. Fortunately it is rare that a Leo is so undisciplined as to give way thoroughly to this list of vices, and their tendencies to them are usually balanced by an innate wisdom. Those who are afflicted with them also have the intelligence it takes to consciously and actively overcome them.

In his or her relations with others the Leo type is open, sincere, genuine and trusting. Outgoing, spontaneously warm hearted and plain spoken, though never lacking in kindliness, Leos are more disillusioned than the average if let down by those they trust. They are not good judges of character and are inclined to favoritism and an exaggerated faith in their followers which too often ends in disappointment.

Zodiac overview of positive and negative characteristics:

The Good Ones
confident, romantic, *expressive, clever, noble, *loyal, *warm hearted, *determined, energetic, courageous, *gracious, *friendly,* fun, cheerful,* encouraging, irrepressable, *generous, *Born to Rule.

The Not so Good Ones
arrogant, pushy, haughty, smug, over ambitious, lustful, *controlling, *bossy, interferring, pompous,* tempermental, patronizing, proud, cunning, vain, brash, jealous, *stubborn.

The starred traits are ones that I am most like.

Are You Lonely?

My last post about my girlfriend moving got me thinking about a story that was in the news a few weeks ago about how Americans are lonlier than they used to be. Yes I believe that could be true in many cases for several reasons. Many people are so busy with their job or jobs, trying to make ends meet that it doesn't leave any personal time. When they do get some it may be just some much needed peace and quiet to themselves. Maybe they have other commitments like school or raising a family that don't leave time left for additonal people. Sometimes there isn't much freetime left to put into an additional relationship. Any relationship whether it be with a spouse, significant other, child, sibling or friend requires work, an effort that can be rewarding but work nonetheless. Sean and I have several couples that we're friends with and they live right in town but trying to work around everyone's schedules is challenging. We don't see each other as often as we would like but when we do we have a blast. There are different levels of friends also. I have many friends at work, to me they're more than co-workers, everyday we have fun doing something but I rarely see them outside of school. They all have their own lives as do I. My sister is my other best friend but I don't see her as much as I would like. They have two kids 10 and 8 years old so they lead a busy life. In those early years of parenthood your life seems to revolve around your kids. Plus there are things that I wouldn't tell her, not many but some. There are people that have tons of aquaintances but no real friends. I think of Paris Hilton. Does she really have anyone she can depend on, talk to and trust? I doubt it. (Sorry Paris if you're reading this :) ) Then there are people that don't know how to be a friend. In order to be a friend you must be kind, thoughtful, be a good listener and treat them the way you like to be treated. Do I sound like a mother or what? I deal with children all the time at school that don't have the skills to be a friend, they just have no clue about how to do it. There are some people that are very private and don't really care to cultivate friendships, if that's what they like then that's okay too.

Something this article blamed the lack of friends on was the internet. Since the dawn of the internet people don't need to get out and mingle anymore to meet others. It doesn't allow you to be face to face with a person. Many times people are not who they claim to be online. There can be a lot of projection of what they think you want them to be. As for me, what you see is what you get, I really don't know how to be anything but myself. I have made several good friends on the internet that I love talking to, feel that I can trust and have a good time with. They have become important to me, I value their opinions and their friendship, look forward to chatting and yet I've never met them face to face. Sometimes people just want someone to talk with and open up to that won't judge them. For some that's easier than face to face.

What I'm trying to say in a nutshell is this; I'm happy to have such wonderful friends whether they be friends I can see and go out with or friends that I can talk to online. I actually talk with my online friends more often so when I don't hear from them in a few days I get antsy and wonder what's up. So don't leave me hanging, drop me a note!

Friends

It is a beautiful day today, the kind I love. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the sky is blue with big, fluffy white clouds, a breeze is whispering and its 75 degrees. Why am I blue? One of my two best friends is moving away this week. the other is my youngest sister. Although we have only known each other for 6 years it is like we have known each other for much longer. I introduced myself to her at our son's baseball game. They moved up here from Alabama because she wanted Nick to go to a northern high school. He was 13 and so was my number one son. They ended up on the same team. She would sit by herself keeping a score book for Nick. I went over and introduced myself, I had already met her son. I told her that if he ever needed a ride to practice I would be happy to take him. That was the begining of a fun friendship. What was extra fun for me was that since she was new in town I could introduce her to all my favorite places and things to do. It also made me see things through a new set of eyes. She can be very demanding, blunt and sometimes thinks the world revolves around her. Sean doesn't really care for her but he did help her with many things as she is a single mother and homeowner. She isn't really the type that I would normally be friends with but her other qualities made up for it. We just clicked. I accept her for what she is and she accepts me for myself. She even bought a house down the road from us. We both are different yet the same. One example is mothering. I am a nurturer. I tell my children all the time I love them. I'm the touchy feely type. I give hugs and kisses freely. I listen and speak with a soft word. She is not the nurturing type. She doesn't show her affection that much, tends to yell and argue with Nick. I do have no doubt that she loves him though. For several years due to her job she worked many long hours and Nick spent many hours at our house. Sean became a father figure to him and I loved him like he was my own. We kidded him that he had two mothers and Sean had two wives. Eventually when I was with her and Nick and she would get on him about stuff he would look at me for help. Not good. There is no way I wanted to replace her as his mother. One day we had a blow out over something rather stupid, I can't even remember what it was. I sent her a card and apologized but got no response. I think the blow out had more to do with what she was feeling about my relationship with Nick. We didn't speak for 8 months. It was the longest 8 months of my life. I had to start taking a different route to work because I had to go by her house and it was painful for me. Finally, knowing it is not her personality to do this, I wrote her a letter, we got together and cried and picked up where we left off. One thing we did notice with her is that she was a kinder and gentler version of herself. She helped me through a very emotional, painful time in my life. She was there for me in my darkest hour and helped me pick up the pieces. Now who will go to the garden store with me and spend hours looking at plants? Who will go to Target with me and buy stuff we don't need? Who will go to the library with me to return our overdue books and see who has the bigger fine? Of course I have other friends but everyone is busy with their own lives and we were are own little duo. Now our children are pretty much adults. Nick is moving to Louisiana to live with his father for a while and she is moving away to where she was born and raised, moved from when she was 18 and still has family there. She made this decision with out talking to me, which was a good thing. I would have complicated it for her. Although I don't want her to move I understand her reasons for it. She tells me all the time that the reason she rented a two bedroom apartment so I can come and stay over. So this week I will say good bye to my "other" son when he leaves for Baton Rouge and to my best friend when she moves 60 miles down the road.

More Flowers

Just when you thought I wouldn't post anymore garden pictures here's more.
This is St. John's Wart. The flowers look like yellow puff balls and the bees love them.














Our hydrangas are having a great year. I don't know why. In past years we might get 4 or 5 blooms but this summer they're heavy with them.

















The trumpet vine always does well, it seems to grow before your eyes. It reminds me of a waterfall or fountain the way the vines cascade down and flower. I read an article that stated vines in general are growing rampant due to pollution. They apparently like carbon monoxide. In some forest areas they are strangling the trees. It specifically mentioned poison ivy vines and honeysuckle. I'm not sure about it though, my honeysuckle that we just planted this year is not looking so hot.





Black Eyed Susan is a great plant, comes back every year and the flowers last a long time. Pink Coneflower is next to it.

Ohhhhh, My Aching Knee

For those of you that don't know me, I have bad knees and most often they bother me but sometimes more than others. I only have 30% knee space left in both so when that's gone it will be bone on bone and time for replacements. I'm loosing about 10% a year so unless it stops, bionic knees, here I come. The doctor is trying to hold off because I'm pretty young. Finally, something I seem to be too young for! Anyway, a knee joint replacement lasts about 10 years or soand I would be looking at possibly 3 in my lifetime. The longer I can hold out, the better technology gets. (Note to number one son; go into orthopedics) Over the counter drugs can no longer to the job as far as anti inflamatories go. Now I go and have a shot under the kneecap which really works for me as long as it lasts. The first one lasted 5 months, the doctor thought I'd get 9-12 months out of it. No such luck, only 5. Two weeks ago just walking up stairs, bingo, the knee went out and has been misbehaving since. I went yesterday for my second shot. Even my doctor commented on the fact that I have a pretty good pain tolerance, I did birth 2 babies with nothing (I'm not saying that it didn't hurt, holy crap it did and I have nothing against anyone who uses drugs in labor, you go girl, do what it takes!) , but boy did that shot hurt. Much more than the first time. It is 40m Triamcinolone Acetonide with Lidocane 1%. Only 1% pain med. I'm asking for more next time. My doctor told me that my knee will hurt more before it gets better and I will be cursing him tonight, that didn't happen the first time. It sure as hell did this time. My knee must have been worse this time to start with. What this whole post is about is to not whine and complain about my knee, I have this theory that the more you complain, the more it hurts, but to talk about the things we take for granted. Like walking.
Last night my knee hurst so much, terrible pain radiating to my toes to my hip and I could hardly walk. At times, I couldn't walk period. It just throbbed and if I bent it at all, stabbing pain, tingling and some numbness. So much so that I was sick to my stomach. Here it was my number 2 son's first day on the job as a scooper at Ben & Jerry's ice cream store, the night before it opens and it is friends and family night. Any ice cream on the menu for a dollar. He was so excited and couldn't wait to serve us up a waffle cone. How could I not go. So I limped along and while I was there I could feel my leg swelling. I couldn't wait to leave, couldn't even eat my Phish Food ice cream (chocolate ice cream, marshmallow and caramel swirls and fudge fish in case you were wondering. I really wanted Oatmeal Cookie Crunch, cinnamon ice cream with chuncks of oatmeal cookies and fudge but that flavor wasn't in yet but I digress) I could hardly walk to the car. By the time I got home I couldn't bend my knee let alone pick my leg up off the floor to walk. Pretty comical to see me try and get up the stairs. Unfortunatly we have a 3 level house. Stairs everywhere. Sean got me situated in the recliner, leg up, my book, laptop, glass of water, pillow and blanket and I planned on sleeping in it. Phone rings, number one son asks can he bring some friends home to watch a DVD on the hi-def TV? Oh, and he was at the end of our street when he called so in the door they come before I can even get out of the chair. I was a sorry sight, made them wait in another room til I got out of there. Now I have to go up another set of stairs and into bed. I felt like I was about 100 years old. Everything was such an ordeal and my leg...the f-bombs were flying and I don't usually swear. My whole point is this, and aren't you glad I am finally getting to it; when you can run, skip, jog and even just walk, you don't realize how lucky you are. I was never so incapacitated in my life. There are people that live with this type of problem every single day. I feel bad for them but couldn't totaly understand what its like to be them. Now I do. Once they may have been an athelete or an average joe and now they live with pain everyday and can no longer run with the wind or just run after their kids. Not to put this thought into your head but even going to the bathroom was an Olympic event. These are things we do everyday without thinking about it. I tell Sean all the time, I don't want to be an old lady in a scooter someday, I don't want a handicap parking tag. I want to be as mobile as possible and not give into this. I will try to remember there are so many people that have it worse and deal with this. So next time you see someone limping along, breaking out in a sweat, grimacing, don't think to yourself, "Oh that poor person" I'm not the type that looks for sympathy but think, " Wow, I've got it good" and enjoy it. By the way, this morning I can bend my knee somewhat and it is not as painful as last night. I will feel better in a few days. Thank you Sean for taking such good care of me and keeping your cool when I wasn't. Love you.

A new T-shirt

I'm going to market a shirt that says, "Warning, I am 19 almost 20 and I live with my parents but I sort of wish that I could live on my own because I'm used to doing my own thing while I'm away at college and my mom makes me do things like errands and stuff and go places with them that I don't want to go to."
There comes an age when your child is caught between childhood and adulthood and it's hard for them. What they don't know is that it is harder for their parents. Number one son will be twenty years old in September and a junior in college. He's been living away from home for two years except for the summers. While he may be living away from home, he's not really been "on his own" but in a dorm. A place that is by no means luxurious but someone comes in and cleans the bathroom and he is fed daily. What he can do is come and go as he pleases and have complete control over his freetime schedule. Now he's home for the summer, has a full time job that he has to get up for at 5:30 am 5 days a week and has to put 20 bucks worth of gas in one of the vehicles. His phone rings constantly or I should say vibrate so all of a sudden he's talking. I can't get used to that.We only ask that he let me know if he will be home for dinner and where he's going in our cars. His social life is suffering because of the early hour he has to get up but he knows his limitations. We have two vehicles, a Honda CRV and Ford Explorer and 99% of the time one of those are available for him to drive. It is so strange to me when he gets up and leaves. To his credit he does ask if he can use a car. Sometimes when his friends are over and they all go out he just walks out the door, doesn't say good bye or say where he's going. He is used to not having to do that while he's at school. Not going to fly at home. He has gotten much better at it and so have I. It's hard for a mother to admit that her little boy has grown up into a responsible adult. I am very proud of him. He is motivated most of the time, knows his priorities and works hard. He's finding out what it means to be an adult. His father and I have totally paid for his first 2 years at college, tuition, room and board, books etc. Last year we paid for his bus tickets to come home most of the time. Now we're done with that and have told him in advance that the well is dry. He is going to have to pay for the next 2 years himself. He is finding out just how expensive it is out there. He took a summer course at a local college, paid for it and the books. Ouch he says. Now before he has paid a dime for the coming year he has had to buy 2 sets of scrubs, stethoscope, blood pressure cuff and some other equipment that they told him. Ouch, more money. His name tag had to be purchased and cost 6.00, not to be paid for with a check but a money order. He went to the post office with 6 bucks and, oh no, you have to pay for a money order! Another surprise for him. He is finding out very quickly how much things cost in the real world and how college will nickle and dime you to death. The only thing I can say is, welcome to life, and then give him a few bucks now and then. He is lucky that when he gratuates in 2 years the additional schooling he needs will be paid by his employer. I do feel bad that I can't provide all of this for him but he is learning how to be an adult and on your own with your expenses. You know when you're a kid you never really know how much your parents love you and what they will do for you until you have a child of your own. Then you get it. He gets a good bit of it now but the rest will come. On the other hand, we went to my brother in laws fireman parade on Saturday and number one son got to ride on the truck to keep an eye on his cousins and spray people with a hose. He loved it, had a blast, there was the little kid in him again. I loved it. Number two son missed it because he was at a pool party. More on him another time.

What is she thinking?

I'm sure you've all heard about Patricia Rashbrook, but in case you've been trapped down a well she is the 62 year old British woman (a child psychologist) that had a baby on July 9. I don't know what she and her husband were thinking, let alone the doctors that went along with this lunacy. 62 years old! Come on. I am all for technology helping couples that can't conceive to become pregnant. There is nothing worse in the world than wanting a baby and not being able to have one. I speak from experience here. To have that need to love, care and nurture a child and not be able to so is devistating. I was lucky enough to have a happy ending to my story and have 2 wonderful boys that I give thanks for everyday. I know there are people out there that say if God wanted you to have a baby you would but I don't believe that. Whether it be through adoption or science I am all for doing what it takes to become a mother. Except in this case. Women were designed to stop being fertile after a certain age for a reason.The chances of medical problems and danger to mom and and baby is huge but just the age difference between mother and child is reason enough not to do it. This woman has 3 grown, adult children, she may be a grandmother, I don't know. So her present husband, age 60, has no children of his own, is that a reason to do this? Parenthood is an exhausting, endless, vacationless job. You need to be up for the challenge. When this little boy is 18 years old his mother, if she lives this long will be 80 years old. Now I realize this boy will probably never regret being born and will have people in his life that will love and care for him if mommy and daddy exit this Earth anytime soon but I feel ethically, what doctor would help this woman reproduce for purely selfish reasons? There needs to be a cut off point with medical intervention. When I had my second child, he and I almost died. Seriously. It was an awful ordeal for Sean and the rest of our families. When I talked to my doctor about a third child he asked me if I was happy with my boys and did I love them? Of course I was!! He then told me, yes, your medical problems would most likely happen again and was the risk worth it? What convinced me was when he told me that it is a terrible thing to loose a baby but its even worse when you loose the mother especially when she has little children at home that need her. That was the end of me wanting another child, it was a real wake up call. Sorry, got off topic for a minute, but this woman and her husband as well as the doctor they found are way off base.

While I am on the subject of children I'll relate another story and of course, my opinion. Our 16 year old is taking his manditory health class in summer school to give his schedule more flexibility in his junior year in Sept. Yesterday was the first day of it. I have to take him to his high school every morning so he can catch the bus to another town's high school where summer school happens to be this year. There is no bus to pick him up at home and we live about 5 miles from his school. Hence I drop him off 7:10 and pick him up at 12:15. Today is has been pouring rain continuously. I get to the school to pick him up and the bus loop is clogged with cars waiting for the buses. Now during the school year, cars are not allowed in the loop, what makes summer any different. There is a huge parking lot across from the loop. The buses come and they can hardly navigate through the cars. Yes it's raining but these kids can suck it up, a little rain won't hurt them. They have young legs and can run to the car. I love Cameron but if he gets wet, it's not the end of the world. I work in education I have come to the conclusion that many, not all but a lot of kids today have an air of entitlement. Their parents have made life too easy for them, never saying no to them, handing over money, fighting their battles for them, never making them take responsibility, I could go on. What happens then is that when someone finally does tell them no or has them do something they don't want to they get mad. Not only the kids but the parents also. I'll give you an example; yesterday, the first day of summer school the classroom Cam was in was air conditioned. Today they had to move to a non air conditioned room for the remainder. Do you know why? A student was cold yesterday and her parent called the school to complain. So now when at the end of the week when it is going to be 92 degrees out, no air conditioning. Rather than tell their child to take a sweatshirt they make it so the classroom is changed. Guess what hypocritical mother is going to call and complain that her child is too hot now. That's right, ME! Why should the teacher and other students suffer because of one? Reading back on this post I seem rather bitchy. I'm going to blame it on the rain and not take responsibility for my bitchiness. LOL

Somewhere....

We had a harrowing rain and lightening storm last night. I did enjoy it but the best part came when it was over. I always feel so lucky when I see a rainbow.

















It would be nice if all utilities were underground and we
could have unspoiled views but I have become so used to
seeing them that I didn't notice the wires until Sean
downloaded the pictures.
















One of my goals this summer is to keep waiting for the
hummingbird to visit and then get a perfect picture of him.
I haven't succeeded yet.













A post script to a previous post about fuglies in my
basement; here's one up close and personal. I hate them,
can you see why? No wonder I have arachnophobia!
(I spelled it right this time :) ) You can't really tell how
big it is in this picture but trust me, it's huge!! I never go
down there in barefeet in case I don't see it before I step on
one. But again, trust me, I can pick them out in the dark,
my eyes are like an eagle when it comes to that.

One of those days

Did you ever have one of those days where someone pisses you off over something stupid? I did yesterday. Yes I know it was stupid but I let it ruin my whole day. Yeah, yeah, I know, get over it. In this case it was son number 2 and hubby. I'm not going to go into it but I will say that they both know they did it, they both knew I was mad and one apologized. Thank you son number 2. As much as you were a jerk, so was I. So men, here's a question for you, if you know that you're making someone mad, even if it's stupid, why do you continue to do it? Now here's a tip for you; stop doing it! It's not worth the outcome! Pheww, got that off my chest.
On another note, here's our dog Cody who somehow manages to know when I'm sad, mad or not feeling well and keeps me company. He weighs about 75 pounds and barks at toads and plays with bugs. We think he has a little cat DNA in him because he purrs when you pet him and licks his paws like a cat does. We got Cody 4 years ago from a "no kill" animal shelter. The story reminds me of a book I have. It's called Found Dogs and is just little vingettes by people and how they came to get their dogs. We were the fourth family to have Cody. His first owners were an older couple and the husband died suddenly, the wife couldn't handle the dog. She brought him to the shelter and a family took him but returned him because while he liked their cats, the cats did not like him. Next a family with small children took him. They returned him because he kept knocking them over. Well, duh, he's a big dog. So there he was back at the shelter. Meanwhile our border collie, Shelby died suddenly at age 7. We were devistated. She was sick for one week, then gone. I swore we would never have another dog. Three months later I couldn't stand coming home to a dogless house. Long story short, we took Cody (we changed his name from Tangles to Cody) but he almost went back. He needed some training and to learn some manners but we stuck with him and today, 4 years later he gets more attention than anyone in the house. I love him to pieces and can't imagine not having him. A dog is good for your soul. They love you unconditionally, always there to give you nuzzle and tail wag. Everytime you leave, even for 10 minutes they're so happy to see you when you return. No doubt about it, I'll always have a dog no matter how many times my heart is broken by them.