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Sunday, July 23, 2006

Friends


It is a beautiful day today, the kind I love. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the sky is blue with big, fluffy white clouds, a breeze is whispering and its 75 degrees. Why am I blue? One of my two best friends is moving away this week. the other is my youngest sister. Although we have only known each other for 6 years it is like we have known each other for much longer. I introduced myself to her at our son's baseball game. They moved up here from Alabama because she wanted Nick to go to a northern high school. He was 13 and so was my number one son. They ended up on the same team. She would sit by herself keeping a score book for Nick. I went over and introduced myself, I had already met her son. I told her that if he ever needed a ride to practice I would be happy to take him. That was the begining of a fun friendship. What was extra fun for me was that since she was new in town I could introduce her to all my favorite places and things to do. It also made me see things through a new set of eyes. She can be very demanding, blunt and sometimes thinks the world revolves around her. Sean doesn't really care for her but he did help her with many things as she is a single mother and homeowner. She isn't really the type that I would normally be friends with but her other qualities made up for it. We just clicked. I accept her for what she is and she accepts me for myself. She even bought a house down the road from us. We both are different yet the same. One example is mothering. I am a nurturer. I tell my children all the time I love them. I'm the touchy feely type. I give hugs and kisses freely. I listen and speak with a soft word. She is not the nurturing type. She doesn't show her affection that much, tends to yell and argue with Nick. I do have no doubt that she loves him though. For several years due to her job she worked many long hours and Nick spent many hours at our house. Sean became a father figure to him and I loved him like he was my own. We kidded him that he had two mothers and Sean had two wives. Eventually when I was with her and Nick and she would get on him about stuff he would look at me for help. Not good. There is no way I wanted to replace her as his mother. One day we had a blow out over something rather stupid, I can't even remember what it was. I sent her a card and apologized but got no response. I think the blow out had more to do with what she was feeling about my relationship with Nick. We didn't speak for 8 months. It was the longest 8 months of my life. I had to start taking a different route to work because I had to go by her house and it was painful for me. Finally, knowing it is not her personality to do this, I wrote her a letter, we got together and cried and picked up where we left off. One thing we did notice with her is that she was a kinder and gentler version of herself. She helped me through a very emotional, painful time in my life. She was there for me in my darkest hour and helped me pick up the pieces. Now who will go to the garden store with me and spend hours looking at plants? Who will go to Target with me and buy stuff we don't need? Who will go to the library with me to return our overdue books and see who has the bigger fine? Of course I have other friends but everyone is busy with their own lives and we were are own little duo. Now our children are pretty much adults. Nick is moving to Louisiana to live with his father for a while and she is moving away to where she was born and raised, moved from when she was 18 and still has family there. She made this decision with out talking to me, which was a good thing. I would have complicated it for her. Although I don't want her to move I understand her reasons for it. She tells me all the time that the reason she rented a two bedroom apartment so I can come and stay over. So this week I will say good bye to my "other" son when he leaves for Baton Rouge and to my best friend when she moves 60 miles down the road.

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